It’s high noon in the W Cafe, and you’re waiting in line to get your lunch. How excited should you be? You’re about to find out.
As a veteran of school lunches, I have eaten every lunch special the Wildcat Cafe has to offer and have compiled a list to gauge what you should eat. Not everything is purely based on taste, as some are judged by their value, but a lot are based on their taste. Some of these opinions may seem controversial, but remember that these are just my opinions.
At dead last in 26th place, we have the Mini Corn Dogs. I’m going to be blunt, these are not good. They’re dry, gross, and you take one bite of them and immediately get tired of eating them due to flavor fatigue. I have never seen anyone eat a full plate of these. The last time I remember the school offering hot dogs was in elementary school, and I guess this is the school’s attempt to bring them back but being honest, it’s not doing it for me. These are terrible, and I wouldn’t recommend them ever. Maybe with a sauce like honey mustard it is barely redeemable. I give it a 0.5/10.
In 25th, we have the chili spaghetti and coney meal. This is honestly slightly repulsive to eat, and especially to look at. The noodles are always really watery, the chili is not done well, it’s just a no. I’m from Cincinnati, I LOVE skyline, but this pitiful attempt to recreate what is to me a really delicious meal is just disappointing. They don’t even offer onions to put on it?! That’s a swift, strong no from me. I give it a 0.8/10.
At the 24th spot, the chicken wrap/fajita wrap meal is up. It’s very mediocre, as I find the flavor of it to be lackluster and underwhelming. In addition to the flavor of it, the texture of it is gross as the tortillas taste like malleable cardboard, and it’s generally not a wanted meal. I believe there are two alternatives to this for mexican-esque dishes the cafeteria serves that are drastically better. I give it a 0.9/10.
In 23rd, we have the Salisbury steak meal. Just, no. It’s like eating a piece of jerky covered in bad barbeque sauce, I just can’t with it. I don’t recommend this, end of story. 1/10. Also, the mashed potatoes are really NOT that good. If they had gravy, maybe, but they’re really not that good.
At the 22nd spot, we have the meatloaf. I’m sorry Mr. Karn, but this meal isn’t the greatest. It’s dry, doesn’t have much seasoning, and pales in comparison to my mom’s meatloaf. It’s only good if you’re really in the mood for meatloaf, any other time it’s not that good. 2.5/10
At 21st, we have the Tour of Italy Pasta Bar. The main component of this special is spaghetti, the choice between two sauces, and meatballs. It’s very limited in facets and in quantity, as I feel that a common theme within fresh fare lunch items is that they tend to be on the lesser side in food quantity than the main special (which is a rant I will get into later), but for now I don’t rank this very high. However, they do make up for it in quality as you’ll see further down the list. The sauces are only ok, the meatballs are actually pretty good, and the spaghetti isn’t great. I usually skip this meal. I give it a 2.7/10.
I put the Tony’s Pepperoni French Bread Pizza in the 20th spot. It’s just okay, this follows under the corndogs of dealing with flavor fatigue but fortunately there’s more to this meal than the corndogs with the possibility of salad, but still on its own, it’s only okay. I give it a 3.4/10.
We have turkey with gravy at the 19th spot, which this may be an unpopular opinion, but I don’t dislike this meal too much. I’ve only had two cases where it’s been good, and when it is good it’s VERY good, but every other time it’s been mildly repulsive and if I have a different option I usually go with that other option. It can be a tad bland but I usually add hot sauce and that makes it pretty good. I give it a 4.5/10.
The fresh fare deluxe double cheeseburger is at 18, and I actually like this. It tastes pretty good, it’s nice to be able to customize toppings on it, and the choice of bacon is nice for extra protein. The burger patty is dry, but as it is school cafeteria food, my standards for the patties are fairly low. I give it a 5.4/10.
At what I have heard is a school wide favorite, the oven grilled cheese is in the 17th spot. I enjoy this from time to time, other times I’ve had this either flavor fatigue hits me. It’s also been either soft or felt like I’m eating whole diamonds, so it’s very situational. When it’s good, I like it. 5.7/10.
I feel very, VERY strongly about this spot. “Made to Order Chinese Dish” placed 16th. This, to my distinction, is the exact same as the General Tso’s Chicken. I LOVE THE GENERAL TSO’S CHICKEN!!!!! However, fresh fare is more expensive and tends to be smaller portions, so to me it seems like less value. The taste is fantastic but the value really makes it hard for me to like this. I can’t give it anything higher than a 6/10, the value really makes it hard to do so.
The breakfast meal they serve for lunch is placed at the 15th spot, and I like this meal! It’s a great spread of food, going from salty with the egg and sausage to sweet with the funnel cake. The funnel cake can be fairly inconsistent, but when it’s good, this is a pretty scrumptious meal. I’ll give it a 6.3/10.
The famous Deli Destination is in 14th, and look. I like this meal as much as the next guy, but it feels like they do it twice a week, and I’m getting sick of it. It was really good when they first started serving it, but now it feels like they do it a million times a month. I like variety! And not only that, but by the time you get through the line half of the toppings are gone so you just have a meat, cheese, and ranch sandwich. I want my tomatoes!! That’s not anyone’s fault but I’m petty. 6.5/10.
I like this next meal! Taco meat, cheese, and salsa is honestly good! It tastes pleasant, has good textural variety between the chips and meat, and the extra toppings are just bonuses. I’ve devoured these before and left the cafeteria a very happy and full man. It deserves the 13th spot and a rating of 7/10.
The fresh fare calzone is next at 12th, and did these things get smaller? I remember being in elementary school and having calzones the size of my hands, but I totally feel like they’re way too small. Either way, these are good and usually really warm so they’re a pleasure to eat. A little ranch on the side and I enjoy these. 7.2/10.
What I grew up eating, known as skyline dip, or is officially called Chili Cheese Dip, sits deservingly at 11, and I really enjoy this meal. It’s warm, the taste difference of the cream cheese compared to the chili is honestly really delicious, and the cheese is just an added bonus. Tip from me, add hot sauce. It takes it to the next level. Any day they’re serving this I’m usually pretty happy. I give it a 7.4/10.
Alright folks, we’re at the top 10. I really have a fondness for all of these meals, but some I like more than others. Starting off with a bang we got Fish on a Bun at the 10. I was extremely dubious when first eating this meal, but after enough bites I like this meal! It doesn’t taste too fishy, and with some tartar sauce and hot sauce I really like it. I give it a solid 7.7/10.
At number 9 is a pick I recently added, it’s the meatball sub. I haven’t been eating this for too long, but when I first had it, I have to say it’s surprising how good it is. Like I didn’t expect that food could get this good quality for a school cafeteria but wow, I really appreciate this. It’s warm, soft, and has a good balance of flavors between the cheese and sauce. I like this meal a lot! Enters the 8 grade at 8.2/10.
The other mexican option (outside of fresh fare, we’ll get there) is the Chicken Quesadilla at 8, and this is so good. It’s spicy, crispy, and has 18 grams of protein for all my people who care about their macros. With the provided sour cream and salsa, this lunch is honestly so good. I recommend this to anyone who wants a Mexican option. 8.5/10.
A recent addition to the list, but one that everyone raved about prior to me trying it, we have the Pulled Pork Sandwich at 7. WOW. This is a really good meal! Again, another example of me being surprised by how high quality lunch food can get here, but I’m very impressed. It tastes smoky but doesn’t like you’re chewing on a wood chip, it’s super meaty and with barbecue sauce it’s so good. 8.7/10.
Just barely beating the Pulled Pork Sandwich, I think the Deluxe Chicken Sandwich is better at the 6th spot. I really like how fresh this is, with the customizability of toppings, which can fall under the issue of Deli Destination, but for this one I think even without toppings it’s so good.There’s really no way to mess this up, and it’s consistently a good meal. 8.9/10.
In the top 5, I adore everything up here. Any day I see these are the specials I am genuinely happy. These are the meals you don’t appreciate till they aren’t served for more than a few weeks. At the 5th spot, I put the Flat Bread Pizza, or as I call it, the circle pizza. This is SO good. It’s hot, tastes really good, with toppings and ranch it’s even better. It feels like just a small step down from something I’d get at LaRosas. Love this meal! 9/10.
Another really unappreciated meal, Go Bold Go Buffalo is at the 4th spot. This is such a good and filling meal, and with the customizability of having multiple options it’s super nice to have. I always get the 3 wings and a serving of buffalo chicken dip combo, because I think it gives the best food value of any meal. I like spicy food and this is just so nice to have, especially with some ranch on the side (if this list proves anything, it’s that I really like ranch). 9.2/10.
Winning bronze at the 3rd spot, we have what I think is the best fresh fare meal, the Mexican Madness. I was genuinely shook when I first ate this, it’s like something out of chipotle but served in a school cafeteria. I don’t know what evil wizardry the wonderful lunch ladies do to make this so good, but oh my goodness is it delightful. It’s filling, has different varied flavors so flavor fatigue is impossible, it’s just so good all around. This meal is amazing. 9.5/10.
With silver in the second spot, the Rotini with Meat is at 2nd. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE this lunch meal, and it’s true. One day I downed an entire serving of it, and went back and paid for more. I love this meal. It’s cheesy, meaty, has a really nice flavor to it, and is even better with hot sauce on it. If I could buy these meals at the grocery store I absolutely would and it would be a staple in my fridge. 9.8/10, delicious. Such a good lunch special, however I think one tops it.
With gold, at the 1st, my favorite, General Tso’s Chicken. This truly has been something special to me from the first time I ate it. It’s just SO GOOD. With the portions right, I believe that Made to Order Chinese Dish would’ve been higher, but I had to deduct those points because this meal is so good I want as much as I can of it. The sauce is tangy, has so much flavor and spice to it, I think there’s real szechuan peppercorns in it, just everything about this meal is so good. This meal genuinely has made my day before by how good it is. I know I’m going to have a good day when I eat this, and I think general Tso’s chicken should be offered more often. 10/10.
Wow, I just realized how passionate over food I can be. And while I may have my opinions, I wondered how the general public of this school thinks of the food within it, so I ran a poll to see and the results are pretty telling.
The highest voted meal was the skyline dip with 12 people voting for it, and everything else after that was a close spread of meals, with grilled cheese at 10 votes and a tie in 3rd with Go Bold Go Buffalo and Tony’s Pepperoni French Bread Pizza with 6 votes. I respect all of those decisions so the student body has some taste as well.
(Also, to whoever put “blood” as their favorite lunch meal, are you ok?)
That is my ranking of every school lunch. At the end of the year I’ll do an update to see if there is anything I feel different about or missed.
