As students, we all have prominent adults in our lives. Parents and teachers drive our lives with us strapped in the metaphorical backseats like toddlers in the carseats that we’ve grown out of. We listen to them, as they are typically our source of knowledge and those who we look upon for guidance. Since adults play a significant role in our lives, their behaviors and choices affect us deeply–they, after all, are driving this car. Something you may have realized over the past few (or more) years, is that the adults in our lives could be inconsistent. What you may have not realized is how much of a difference this can make in kids’ lives.
Parents are the most important adults in our lives. They house, feed, and educate us with basic life skills in ways that teachers cannot. As time goes on, we advance further into school. It’s no secret that the further we go, the more important everything is. Frontrunner of importance, especially in middle school and high school, is grades. There are two sides of this: parents who care too much about grades, and parents who don’t care enough.
When parents care too much about grades, they tend to push us more. That statement doesn’t sound too crazy, as it is natural for a lot of parents to care about grades. But, if they push too hard or unintentionally cause a lot of stress, it leaves little room for students to breathe and have more control over how and when we work. This can cause kids to be rebellious. Refusing to do work, intentionally distracting themselves in class, and having a complete disregard for how much their parents really care about their grades.
There is another side to this, when parents care too little about their kids’ bad grades. This can cause negative effects on them as students, causing students to care too much on their own. This can lead to students stressing and overworking themselves, causing them to be mentally and physically exhausted. The negligence can also lead to fluctuations in the parent-to-kid relationship, most notably trust issues.
Then there are teachers; our educators who can teach us more informational and logical lessons. Every teacher has rules for their classrooms and when coupled with the rules of the school, this can become an issue. Teachers tend to hold complete jurisdiction over their classroom, what the students are doing, and what is allowed to happen in it. These classroom rules, depending on how lenient the teacher is, can clash with school rules.
Let’s say you have multiple teachers that are lenient on having your phone out during class time. Sure, it’s fun that you can text, check social media, and play games on your phone during school, but there is a lesser known, larger impact on any student taking advantage of the leniency. Now, let’s say you have multiple teachers who are extremely strict about you having your phone out in class. You can become so used to breaking that general rule, that you end up not liking the strict teacher.
This is common in many schools; students will end up disliking the strict teacher simply for enforcing rules, so much that they don’t want to listen to them. In turn, they are no longer learning. Taking it a step further, they will continue to break the teacher’s rule about phones, using the lenient teachers as excuses for texting and playing games during class time. Having a lenient teacher is great, as long as they regulate how much students should be on their phones.
After all of this, there is really one question; How can we improve this issue? This can be shockingly simple.
Teachers, keep yourselves in check when it comes to your leniency. It can send the wrong messages to teens and young adults about what rules to follow and when to follow them. This can make it harder for the entire staff to properly educate their students.
Parents, two for you. One, if you are too focused on grades, try to lay off a bit. It is great that you care, truly, it is one of the most important things to your kids, even if they don’t show it. However, they won’t show it if you are too pushy, as it will not be as important as it could be. Two, if you do not care about your kids’ grades, get involved. You may think you are being a cool parent, but you are actually being incredibly negligent. Complete one of the most important steps; Care about how your kids are doing in school.
These inconsistencies can have countless impacts on students, the way they work, and their relationships with the adults in their lives.
