When Mrs. Evanson’s two brothers were 18 and 13, they were out running errands for their mom. Ryan, the older brother drove to Arby’s and they both went in together. Ryan ordered two Arby-q’s and brought them back to the table. As they sat down, Kyle, the younger brother, reached across the table to grab one of the sandwiches. Ryan shot him a deathly glare. “What do you think you’re doing?” Ryan said, “They’re both for me.”
Who would make their younger brother watch them eat 2 sandwiches? Well, teenagers can be pretty selfish. The process of adolescence often comes with a heightened sense of self-centeredness, which can be tough to handle at times. However, as teens transition into adulthood, that selfish streak tends to fade away.
Selfishness in teens can stem from multiple factors. An article by RecParenting.com says that During adolescence, teenagers are navigating the process of parting from their parents to form their own identities, which leads to self-absorption. Individuation plays a big role in adolescence, meaning that teens are putting more of their focus on themselves. While these factors contribute to a teen’s selfish behavior, it’s also important to remember that the brain isn’t fully developed yet, which can play a role in how teens perceive the world and make decisions.
A study conducted by the London School of Economics and Political Science found that the presence of peers can have a positive impact on teen behavior. In the study, 60 teens were gathered and given $6 and ask how much they’d give themselves and how much they’d give others. Two trials were run, one with the teens by themselves and one with a peer present. Researchers noticed that the teens were significantly more generous when a close peer was with them.
People have mixed feelings about the selfishness of teenagers. Art teacher Jennifer Gambetta acknowledges that teens can be selfish, but she points out that they are still learning and figuring out the world. Similarly, assistant principal Lindsey Long says that everybody has different needs depending on their age and maturity levels. She thinks that adolescence can make it hard for teens to see past their nose, or in other words to see other people’s feelings and wellbeing.
Despite some positive perspectives, health teacher Andy Banks offers a more critical view, saying, “Kids and teens are self-entitled little babies that think people owe them something.” Ashlyn Fuhrmann, a senior at Harrison High School argues that adults are just as selfish as teens, but they tend to hide it better. Then maybe teenage selfishness is a type of honesty that should be encouraged? Maybe not, and even hidden selfishness is a step in the right direction. As far as teens being especially selfish, I don’t know that we deserve Mr. Banks’ feedback, but then again, I don’t know if we deserve Mrs. Gambetta’s praise either. We are probably somewhere in the middle.
To parents, unfortunately, you may not be able to eliminate your teen of selfishness immediately. However, encouraging your teen to be helpful towards people around them is one step you could take to fight against selfishness. And for teens, it’s time to stop being selfish! Simply taking a minute to be aware of other people’s feelings can be a small but impactful action that benefits everyone.
