You pass by the cookie aisle at Kroger looking for a sweet snack, but you see rows and rows of Oreo flavors you’ve never heard of! How do you know which one to pick? After reading this article about The Paw Print’s ranking of each flavor, you’ll know exactly what to get next time you’re in need of a tasty pick-me-up. We bought every flavor of Oreos that Kroger stocked last month, and we tasted them all. And wow, do we have thoughts.
Oreo was introduced by Nabisco in 1912 as an imitation of the Hydrox cookie, and has become the highest selling cookie brand in the world. There have since been many variations of flavors, some of which are…unique… like the Hot Chicken Wing Oreo released in China. I don’t know who would want that, but I’m sure there’s somebody out there that loves it. Our flavors were much less extreme.
Based off of the class data, we have compiled a definitive class ranking of each cookie.
While this ranking may look straightforward, the discussion around each cookie was not. Staff members had many things to say about these cookies.
Lemon
Lemon was quite controversial, but it landed a spot in 4th place. The staff responses were divisive. Some had positive things to say, such as “surprisingly delightful” or “very yummy,” while others claimed it was disgusting. One person claimed it as “devastatingly artificial.” This cookie would be great as a summer snack by the pool with its fruity flavor.
Mega Stuf
This cookie was ranked mostly in lower spots by staff. In our class rank, it sits in 8th place, agreeably so. Most of the staff were in agreement that it is too much filling for an Oreo. “Too much stuff!,” one staff member said. Another staff member states that, “While the regular cookies are good on their own, the extra creme in this one felt overwhelming to me.” While this cookie was low on most people’s rankings, this is still a perfect cookie for some. One student shared that, “more filling makes it better.” If you’re an Oreo superfan, this is probably your dream cookie.
Double Stuf
Double Stuf wasn’t a staff favorite, but it wasn’t the worst. It landed a spot right in the middle at 5th place. The responses for this cookie were more balanced between liking and disliking it. Some believed the icing was still too much, but others believed it was the “perfect ratio.” If regular Oreos aren’t sweet enough to your liking, Double Stuf will probably be your best bet.
Golden
Golden Oreos are about as classic as you can get without the original Oreo flavor. This cookie earned its spot in 3rd place. One staff member says, “Golden is the correct term to describe the outstanding taste these cookies have. While many described this cookie as bland (which I see where they are coming from), the vanilla flavoring really ties this sweet treat together.” I personally think these are the most binge-worthy out of all the flavors.
Mint
Mint was surprisingly agreeable among staff and landed in 1st place. Some compared its taste to Thin Mints, while others compared it to toothpaste. Lola Eiler says, “MINT DOES NOT BELONG WITH CHOCOLATE.” (I agree!!) If you’re one of THOSE people that love mint chocolate, this will be your new favorite cookie.
Java Chip
Java Chip was generally hated among the class and occupies 10th place. This cookie had an overwhelmingly coffee scent and taste, which was overbearing for most. Trishey Doyle compared its taste to “coffee grains that sat in filter overnight.” Similar sentiments were shared with other students, like “disgusting,” “odd texture,” and “smells awful.” Henry Walker, however, claims it as the best cookie ever, saying, “Justice for Java Chip!!!” If you’re a coffee fiend, this cookie is the best thing since sliced bread! If you hate everything coffee, steer clear of Java Chip.
Peanut Butter
Peanut Butter was (unfortunately) another cookie that everybody hated, and it is 9th place. This flavor was called anywhere from “horrendous” to “mid” and “just okay.” It was even called “a menace to the collective cookie society” by Henry Walker. He says, “There is no good flavor and it’s too sticky. I mean, honestly, what would Wendy Wildcat say?!” To that I say: don’t bring Wendy Wildcat into this 🙁 . This cookie is clearly misunderstood, and nobody gets it like I do. Give the Peanut Butter a chance!
Classic
Everybody knows the classic Oreo flavor. Everybody loves the classic Oreo flavor. Apparently, though, the Paw Print staff didn’t love it enough to place it higher, and it now occupies a spot in 7th place. All responses echoed similar thoughts of “basic” and “classic.” Julia Freese says it’s “a classic, the og, always good.” Who can argue with that?
Chocolate
When you think of a Chocolate Oreo, you probably think the more, the better. However, the extra chocolate in this cookie made it taste bland. One staff member says, “While it didn’t taste bad, it didn’t really taste like anything at all.” This flavor just wasn’t giving enough to be ranked higher and occupies 6th place.
Birthday Cake
Birthday Cake was the most controversial cookie of all and started some heated arguments in class. Whether they loved or hated it, people were very passionate in their responses. Lola Eiler says, “If I could rate this a zero, I would. I couldn’t bear this one. Whoever enjoys this one should be locked up. As soon as Ms. Evanson peeled the plastic layer, the room instantly filled with an indistinguishable odor. It smelt like flavored lip balm from elementary school, honestly tasted like it too.” What a way with words. The smell of this cookie was so potent that it was banished to its own corner of the room away from the rest of the cookies. For some, like Lola, the flavor was just as bad as the smell. Cayden Kincer says it “left a burning feeling in my throat like a birthday candle.” For some, though, the taste was not as terrible as its odor. One staff member says, “It tastes good when you plug up your nose, but is it really worth it?” Another says, “Smells artificial but offers the sentimental reminder of a thrilling birthday with friends. Anyone who says they don’t enjoy this is lying.” This was many people’s favorite cookie, and other’s least favorite cookie. In the class rank, it ended up in 2nd place, underneath only Mint. I’m going to be honest, I really loved this cookie, and this flavor is the one I would most likely buy out of all of these. Birthday Cake is just as misunderstood as Peanut Butter!
The next time you find yourself in the Oreo aisle at Kroger, try some of these flavors out for yourself! Maybe you’ll open the package of Birthday Cake and burn your nose hairs off, or maybe you’ll find your new favorite snack.
