Dear Wendy,
I really like this girl. I really, really like her, but she’s dating my best friend. I know! I’m a horrible person! So, Wendy, what do I do? I mean, I’ve tried to stop liking her, but I can’t. Am I a really horrible person? Would asking her out be breaking bro code?
Sincerely,
Infatuated Ian
Dear Ian,
It’s completely normal to like someone. One time I was dating this guy, and I knew my bestie liked him, but I still dated him anyway. And she was like, “You knew I liked him, and you still said yes.” And I was like, “So what? He asked me out, not you, #!$@*.”And my boyfriend was like, “I didn’t want to date you, Wendy; I wanted to date Brittany.” And I was like, “Fine! Then go date her!” Then he left me for Brittany, and she decided we shouldn’t be friends anymore. But what matters is that she got the boy, but it ruined her friendship. So… Do you want a girlfriend, or do you want a best friend?
Sincerely,
Wendy Wildcat
Dear Wendy,
I have this teacher who I think hates me. He makes fun of me in class, and I always fail his tests. What do I do to get him to like me?
Sincerely,
Hopeful Hattie
Dear Hattie,
Do you ever think that you just need to study more? Like, actually, look at your textbook, and you might pass. I know you sit there on your phone when you should be doing your homework. Just be better!
LATE BREAKING ADMINISTRATIVE BULLETIN: Do not, for all that is holy, call your best friend a #!$@*. .Also, who is Wendy Wildcat? Why are people asking for her advice? If teachers are making fun of you? Talk to an administrator!
