Sometimes, friends go together like chips and salsa. In a way, it feels like they’re made for each other. But other times, friendships can feel like wearing flip-flops in the snow. So how do we know if our friends are the right fit for us?
Surrounding yourself with the right people is a task easier said than done. There are so many different types of people and expectations that making friends can seem incredibly overwhelming. But friendship is an integral part of adolescence. The National Library of Medicine identifies the development of close friendships as a significant developmental milestone. This is because close friendships allow us to better understand each other, as well as ourselves.
There is a positive correlation between student friendships and academic performance. This correlation can be largely attributed to the fact that students feel more comfortable and supported in classes with their friends. The American Federation of School Administrators highlight findings suggest that cooperative learning – in which students work together to complete assignments and learn material – has been found to improve academic performance and reduce behavioral issues.
This idea is largely supported by a survey of your peers, in which 44.4% of students said that they focus better with a friend in class with them. 77.8% are more motivated, 88.9% feel more supported, 83.3% feel less stressed, 72.3% feel more comfortable participating, and 55.5% feel like they do better in school when they have a friend in their class.
Our friends play a necessary role in both our social and academic lives, so how do we know who the right people are?
Psychology Today highlights traits such as empathy and kindness as desirable within friends, and while kindness and empathy were popular responses in a survey of your peers, the most valued trait was honesty.
This could be because in the age of media, it’s hard to tell what is real and what is fake. A lot of us Gen Z-ers gained access to the internet in our pre-teens, if not earlier. Medium highlights that Gen Z grew up with influencers promoting products they don’t use and fake news. We have had to spend a lot of our time discerning what is real, and what is fake.
Other popular traits include humor, intelligence, loyalty, and responsibility. When asked what the definition of a good friend was, 44.4% of your peers said, “Someone that I can trust and who always has my back”. Actions that were highlighted as making someone a “bad” friend were things like talking behind peoples’ backs, leaving others out, and when they simply just don’t enjoy the friends’ company. One student also mentioned maturity, stating that some of their friends aren’t good friends because they enjoy doing “bad” things and then brag about them.
Maturity is very important in distinguishing who you should and should not be friends with. The people you surround yourself with greatly impact you as a person. Should you surround yourself with individuals who are less mature than you, you run the risk of being constantly annoyed and not feeling a strong connection to them.
The strength of a friendship is based heavily on the strength of your connection. If you feel left out by, or not connected to your friends, it can negatively affect your mental health and your view of yourself. It’s incredibly important that you surround yourself with people you feel supported by and connected to.
Good friends can be hard to come by, but you should never settle for people who don’t have your best interests at heart.
