Snuggled up, blanket pulled over her chin, Wendy wildcat slumbered peacefully, surrounded by the comfortable warmth of the high school boiler (which is thankfully working very well).
With a full belly, Wendy drifted off to sleep, dreaming of turkey and wedgied freshmen.
*CABLAM!!*
With a yowl, Wendy jolted awake, springing from her bed in a most unfashionable way. Bolting upstairs to find a DOG walking through HER SCHOOL.
Gasping in utter horror, Wendy immediately pulled the fire alarm and fled the scene. Immediately heading to the pound to find the cages ABSOLUTELY EMPTY. Frantically, smacking open the secretaries’ laptop, Wendy immediately opened Facebook- to find post upon post of pets–none that featured her amazingly beautiful face! Clearly this could not stand.
WENDY HAS DECLARED WAR UPON THESE ATTENTION-STEALING CRIMINALS.
Sharpening her claws, shaking snow from her fur, Wendy has once again started her campaign of total and utter pet-annihilation! And her poor, unfortunate staff have been left clutching their chairs and dead-bolting their doors to escape utter devastation as she ravages the office once again.
Continuing our tradition from the past three issues, Wendy Wildcat has partnered with the FBI to make a new list of wanted suspects. With winter upon us, we should all take care to get these criminals off the street. Each and every one of these posters has been stamped with Wendy’s paw-print of approval.
And since we HAVE NOT CAUGHT A SINGLE ONE OF OUR SUSPECTS, we are once again re-running a list of high-priority suspects. These posters have been updated with new, up-to-date photos and information.
For all of our safety (and to escape Wendy’s wrath) in this uneasy, cold season- If you recognize any of these offenders, please alert Wendy, the FBI, or your local veterinarian as soon as possible.
